In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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