Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
