i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
