Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
