I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
