I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
