BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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