And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
