Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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