he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
