also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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