i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize