if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
