i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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