He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
