My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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