I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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