we have pet lesbian snakes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
