He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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