I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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