; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
