and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
