yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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