My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
