8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
