im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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