butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
