Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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