Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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