i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
