The Swedes wanted a tensome.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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