So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
