Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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