How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I puked a lego.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize