Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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