Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
