How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
