doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
