I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
