i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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