I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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