Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
