Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think my tv is drunk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
