she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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