why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
