Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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