matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
