I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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