i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
