If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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