I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
