It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
