Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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