who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
