OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
