I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
