weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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