i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
