kristin has been a bad kristin
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
