I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
