It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
